Julian Barnes' characters about love, sex and friendship

 

"Stuart: My marriage -my second one, my American one- ended in divorce after five years. Now in England the voice-over would go, ’His marriage failed after five years.’ I mean the voice-over in your own head, the one that comments on your life as you live it. But in the States the voice-over went, ’His marriage succeeded for five years.’ They’re a nation of serial marriers, the Americans. (...)

 

Gillian: There was this suggestion in the papers recently that marriage should be treated as a business. Romance never lasts, they said, so couples should negotiate the terms of their partnership in advance: all the conditions and clauses, rights and duties. Actually, it doesn’t sound to me like a new idea at all. It reminds me of those old Dutch paintings -husband and wife side by side, gazing out at the world a little complacently, the wife sometimes holding the purse. Marriage as business: look at our profits. Well, I absolutely don’t agree. What’s the point if the romance isn’t still there? What would be the profit if I didn’t want to come back to Oliver every evening? Of course, we talk about arrangements a lot. That’s like any normal marriage. Children, shopping, meals, pick-up times, homework, television, the school run, money, holidays. Then we fall into bed and don’t have sex. Sorry, that’s one of Oliver’s jokes. At the end of a long day, when work’s been a problem and the girls have been a handful, he’ll say, ¡Let’s just fall into bed and not have sex.’ (...)

 

Stuart: Friendship can be more complicated than marriage, if you ask me. I mean, marriage, that’s the ultimate challenge for most people, isn’t it? The moment when you put your whole life on the line, when you say, here I am, this is what I stand for, I’ll give you everything I’ve got. I don’t mean worldly goods, I mean heart and soul. In other words, we’re aiming for a hundred percent, aren’t we? Now we may not get that hundred percent, most likely we won’t, or we might get it for a while and then settle for less, but we’ll be aware of that figure, that completeness, existing. What used to be called an ideal. I guess we call it a target nowadays. And then when things go wrong, when the percentage drops below an agreed target figure -say fifty percent- you have this thing called divorce. But with friendship, it’s not so simple, is it? You meet someone, you like them, you do things together -and you’re friends. But you don’t have a ceremony saying you are, and you don’t have a target. And sometimes you’re only friends because you have friends in common. And there are friends you don’t see for a while who you pick up straight away, right where you left off; and others where you have to start all over again. And there’s no divorce. I mean, you can quarrel, but that’s another thing. (...)

 

Gillian: The rule about married sex, if you’re interested -and you may not be- is that after a few years you aren’t allowed to do anything you haven’t done before. Yes, I know, I’ve read all those articles and advice columns about how to spice up your sex-life, about getting him to buy you special underwear, and sometimes just having a romantic candlelit dinner for two, and setting aside quality time to be together, and I just laugh because life isn’t like that. My life, anyway. Quality time? There’s always another load of washing. Our sex-life is... friendly. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I can see that you do. Perhaps all too well. We’re partners in the act. We enjoy one another’s company in the act. We do our best for one another, we look after one another in the act. Our sex life is... friendly. I’m sure there are worse things. Much worse. Have I put you off? He or she beside you has had their light oput for some time now. They’re doing that breathing which is meant to sound like sleep but doesn’t really. You probably said, ’I’ll just finish this bit,’ and got a friendly grunt in reply, but then you read on a bit longer than you thought. But it doesn’t matter now, does it? Because I’ve put you off. You don’t feel like sex any more. Do you?"

 

Julian Barnes, Love, etc. (2000)

 

Ilustración: Emilce Fuenzalida